Thursday, May 18, 2017

Review: 10 Things I Can See From Here by Carrie Mac

Image from Goodreads

Think positive.
Don’t worry; be happy.
Keep calm and carry on.

Maeve has heard it all before. She’s been struggling with severe anxiety for a long time, and as much as she wishes it was something she could just talk herself out of, it’s not. She constantly imagines the worst, composes obituaries in her head, and is always ready for things to fall apart. To add to her troubles, her mom—the only one who really gets what Maeve goes through—is leaving for six months, so Maeve will be sent to live with her dad in Vancouver.

Vancouver brings a slew of new worries, but Maeve finds brief moments of calm (as well as even more worries) with Salix, a local girl who doesn’t seem to worry about anything. Between her dad’s wavering sobriety, her very pregnant stepmom insisting on a home birth, and her bumbling courtship with Salix, this summer brings more catastrophes than even Maeve could have foreseen. Will she be able to navigate through all the chaos to be there for the people she loves?
(Blurb from Goodreads)

Sometimes a book comes along exactly when you need it too, and I needed this book. Today my anxiety is through the roof because today I am pregnant and I know that it won't last. I honestly don't think it will last the weekend. And it's Mother's day weekend. I'm going to miscarry on Mother's day. How ironic. I've spent today trying to keep myself busy. I've tried to ignore the fact that I'm pregnant, I've tried to hold it all together and I just can't. I keep thinking about how after the age of thirty (and I'm thirty) the miscarriage rate goes up by 12%. How 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. How only 76% (I think) of miscarriage women go on to have healthy pregnancies. I'm sure I read that somewhere.
I keep thinking that it can happen to anyone, and every story and blog post I read today, trying desperately to find some hope, some kind of solace to ease my mind just for a little while, was written by a woman who'd had multiple miscarriages. Multiple. So many women, and so much loss, and why should I be exempt from that? If it can happen to them for no apparent reason, it can happen to me. I think I also read somewhere, after my first miscarriage, that only like 4 or 5% of women have multiple miscarriages, and today I think I read every single one of their blogs. The 4 or 5% thing can't be accurate. There's no way that every single woman who's had multiple miscarriages has a blog and/or visits the same forum. They can't. It's not possible. 

And that's anxiety. 

And it's portrayed perfectly in 10 Things I Can See From Here. Today I was not alone in my anxiety. Although Maeve and I were worrying over totally separate things, just to know that her brain worked like mine does, and no one understands that, that made me not alone today. 

The only complaint I'd have about this book is that I wanted more. More of the characters. I want to know more about Salix and if she got into Julliard, what her life was life growing up in a bus, I want to know what happens to Maeve and Salix when Maeve goes home with her mom, I want to know how Maeve's relationship with her mom changes when she comes home, I want to know more about Billy and his sobriety. Just more. 

I need like a whole series of these characters. 

5 out of 5 stars. Highly recommend.  Read it. 

Note: I received a free copy of this book through Blogging for Books, in exchange for an honest review. 

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